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Joke of the Day

"If you can't say something nice You might have a lisp......"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? Nobody pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face."

"I believe when you die you become a slab of meat... I call it rein-carne-tion."

"Someone broke into my house last night and left a note saying they'd broken one of my keyboard keys. I onder hich one."

"Not silicone A woman got wooden breast implants. This would be so much funnier with a punchline, wooden tit?"

"Eskimo: If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell? Priest: No, not if you don't know Eskimo: Then why did you tell me?"

"I don't support the gay lifestyle in San Francisco It's way too expensive there. They should move to somewhere a lot cheaper so they can save more money."

"Give a man a match... [inspirational quote] Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for an hour... Light a man of fire, well, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What did one Fart say to the other? Just so you know, your's is not the only asshole around"

"A man tried to force his wife to take an aspirin when she got in bed with him. She began yelling and saying ""I don't have a headache!"" The man replied, ""Good, let's fuck."""