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Joke of the Day

"Are your clothes meant to scream out ""help"" when you squeeze yourself into them?"

"Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !"

"knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""KGB."" ""KGB wh--"" [slap recipient of the joke] ""Vee vill ask za questions!"""

"If you tell me to ""chillax,"" I will ""chillstab"" you and ""chillaugh"" while you bleed to ""chilldeath."""

"I submitted 10 puns to a joke contest to see if any would win. No pun in ten did."

"Yo mama is so slutty.... I saw her on a box of wheaties with her legs wide open, saying breakfast for champs."

"A man told little Johnny ""I'll give you a piece of candy if you come in my van?"" Little Johnny replied ""I'll cum on your face for the entire bag!"""

"In a philosophy class... Professor: Sometimes an idiot's question is too hard for even 10 geniuses to answer. One student pipes up: No wonder I fail my tests."

"You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons. How ionic."

"Blonde Joke Why did the blonde girl have bruises around her belly button? Because blonde guys aren't smart either (Sorry if it's a repost.)"