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Joke of the Day

"You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons. How ionic."

"Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane? Aren't they themselves a carry-on?"

"Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom."

"The coolest suicide would be to moisturize and not stop moisturizing until you become a tiny pond that fish and turtles live in"

"*gets sentenced to 25 years in prison* *opens twitter app* *looks up* *being released*"

"What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot, you racist piece of shit."

"Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own problems that I forget there are people having real fights on the internet."

"A scientific joke Q: Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements? A: Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!"

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law, the other is a sick bird."

"speak, three languages you are trilingual, two, bi-lingual, what do they call you if you only speak one language? American"