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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up a girls ass"

"Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome."

"What do you call obnoxious almonds? DEEZ NUTS!!! HA! GOT EEM!"

"glorious crime spree after being fired from wal mart., expertly hopping fences, chugging all the seeds out of my neighbors bird feeders,"

"One of my cats learned how to open doors and now he opens doors for the dog and I live in an 90's family movie."

"Who wants to hear an appendectomy joke? [Removed]"

"What is the difference between a epileptic corn husker and a prostitute with diarrhea? The epileptic corn husker shucks between fits."

"I had a dream last night... ...that I was eating a massive marshmallow, it was huge! And then when I woke up this morning, my pillow was gone!"

"What's the difference between a girl's track team and a bunch of pigs? One's a group of cunning runts... Source: Imgur user YossarianMinderbinder"

"What did the brick say to the rock? Nothing, it's just a brick, what's wrong with you."