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Joke of the Day

"""And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?"" ""I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."""

Next Joke
 
"In regards to the recent ruble crash in Russia A Russian boy asks his father ""Daddy, can I have 5 ruble for buy milk bread and vodka?"" His father replies ""20 ruble? What you need 50 ruble for?"""
"America thought about using fat as a currency... ...but there was too much inflation."
"Your mother is so classless... .. she could be a marxist utopia"
"Knock Knock Who's there ? Chest ! Chest who ? Chest-nuts for sale !"
"What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars? Astronomical"
"I always bring an extra pair of socks when I go golfing... ..Just in case I get a hole in one."
"What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes? Discreet uniform distribution"
"What is Godzilla's favorite fruit? Squash."
"Why are kids with DS getting elected prom kings and queens? Either way, they're going down in history."