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Joke of the Day

"Charlie Brown decided to wear transparent pants one day... ...and when Lucy saw him she said ""I always thought you were a blockhead, Charlie Brown, but now I can plainly see your nuts."""

"I wonder when my phone will start listing them as ignored calls instead of missed calls."

"- I'm here to register for the pessimists' club. - Is the glass half empty or half full? - What glass? - Gentlemen, we have a new leader!"

"Dog with no legs Where do you find a dog with no legs? Answer. Where ever you put him."

"Free admission to Disney On Ice!! Just push your knee against your eyes and you'll get to watch This Knee On Eyes."

"Have you heard of the object without mass? It doesn't matter"

"Q: What kind of pizza do pilots like? A: Plain."

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it Apparently, she left me a few days ago"

"Jewish If a Jew celebrates christmas they're only Jewish."

"What's the difference between an Irish Catholic and a Roman Catholic? A few notches on the belt buckle."