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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to actually screw it in, and one to hold the ~~penis.~~ Edit: Ladder. One to hold the ladder."

"What do you call a fat Asian? A chunk"

"A package comes in the mail at the post office & it's business as usual... But when I cum in the mail at the post office it's public indecency & a felony.."

"How much lube should you buy to prepare to have sex with a McDonald's fry cook with a cheddar fetish? About a quart to pound her with cheese."

"""I don't understand what this statue of a man talking is supposed to mean"" ""It's confusing, but I think it's a figure of speech."""

"Are you all allright? No, you are all left"

"If I had a dollar every time a woman called me handsome... I would employ lots of woman whose sole job will be to call me handsome."

"Bartender: What can I get you, gorgeous? Me: The blood of all my enemies. Bartender: Me: Bartender: Me: Miller Light"

"I heard a joke about a German sausage today It was the wurst"

"What are the scariest jokes in space? Knock-Knock Jokes"