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Joke of the Day

"Dear police: if you're going to racial profile, how about you check out the white boy dressed like he's in the matrix"

"went to a temporary tatoo parlor it wouldn't wash off so I went back to complain but the shop was gone."

"Why Russians never drive stick shift? They really hate Stalin"

"What do you call a sick eagle that just flew in from out of the country? an ill-eagle immigrant"

"hey Liam Neeson is your ""particular set of skills"" gettin shit stolen from you, like, always ?"

"What's his name? A man walks into a bedroom and sees a hot, naked woman lying face-down on the bed. Q: What's his name? A: Willie Turner Q: What's *her* name? A: Betty Will"

"What happened to the girl who put too many deviating data into her box plot? In the end her spread was so large she had to present it without any whiskers."

"Job interview -It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. Whats 19x17? -36 -Thats not even close!! -But it was quick."

"What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror"

"What do lawyers use for birth control? Personality."