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Joke of the Day

"tomorrow I am going to find the tomb of Ben Franklin and whisper stories of old and lusty ladies into his ear, as he would have wished it"

"Why don't orphans play baseball. Because they don't know where home is."

"My friend died of autoerotic asphyxiation... The story is a real tearjerker."

"The ""bishop"" came to our church today He was a fucking impostor. Never once moved diagonally."

"What do I do when my luggage gets tired? I rest my case."

"My husband: It'd be nice to have a wife who cooked dinner. Me: ooo!! Can we get one?"

"Girls get so turned on when you take charge. Grab her hair and tell her she needs a shampoo with no harsh sulfates and a new lip stain."

"If you haven't logged onto Facebook for awhile, Judy Ann Ross from 10th grade algebra is enjoying a chicken salad sandwich right now."

"You know what amazes me? A maze."

"Why did the school boy need Viagra? He was having trouble getting up in the morning."