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Joke of the Day

"I picked my nose in traffic today. Secretly hoping a tweeter who had run out of joke material saw me. You've gotta give to get, people."

Next Joke
 
"I asked my friend if he wanted a drink and he said to surprise him so I brought back a side salad."
"What do Hutts use to program computers? JabbaScript"
"My girlfriend is: - super sweet - light as a feather - pink - melts in my mouth when I eat her - always at a circus - possibly cotton candy"
"5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions... I'm just gonna let that sink in for a second."
"What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave? Aight I'll calcu-lata"
"Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It's so fun to watch them freak out!"
"What do you call a person who worships Doritos? A Chipmonk."
"ME: I wonder if it wrestles cutely too? ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the panda enclosure. ME: lol. No. *gets mauled to death by panda*"
"Normally I hate those trashy, fake, rigged reality TV shows... But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway."