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Joke of the Day

"Cup of coffe Patient: ""I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."" Doctor: ""Try taking the spoon out."""

"After progressively lifting heavier weights, I was finally able to squat 600 pounds. Unfortunately, all that money still weighs less than a kilo."

"My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched."

"""And the award for Most British Name goes to..."" *Benedict Cumberbatch takes a sip of gin with his eyes closed* ""Helena Bonha-"" *spews*"

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand, but I'm thinking of you."

"A math teacher had a bird, and he trained it to talk. One day it escaped, and he yelled out the window, ""Polly gone! Polly gone!"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Carrie ! Carrie who ? Carrie a torch !"

"My girlfriend got gang raped by a group of mimes... They did unspeakable things to her."

"Why was the sterile Grizzly upset? Because he couldn't Bear children."

"lol How much did the Holla Caust? 6 Million Jews"