56453

Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Carrie ! Carrie who ? Carrie a torch !"

"Mental note, its inappropriate, according to the HR department, to put your hand on the back of a female coworkers head as she eats a banana"

"I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid... ...but my parents told me the sky was the limit."

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an acronym? An acronym stands for something"

"Why is an egg like a young horse? Because it can't be used until it's broken!"

"I didn't use to like fungus but then it grew on me"

"I bought a pair of Undies yesterday. On the front it says, ""I Will do Anything For Love"" ..and on the back it says, ""But I Won't do That."""

"What do you call a man doing dishes? Single."

"Ivan Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint the phone rings and he jumps up shouting ""Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dog!"""

"Me: Sweetie, I think these wireless headphones you got me are defective. Wife: Those are earmuffs."