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Joke of the Day

"Nobody is interested in your sorrow, unless you can make a joke or a poem out of it."

"My dog and I are just drivin around, listenin to music and OMG DOG DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE? PAWS AT 10 AND 2. DO NOT FOLLOW THAT SQUIRREL"

"How do you know when you have bad acne? When the blind try to read your face."

"I deliver packages, I came up to a house and a man was sticking his penis through the mail slot. He was giving me a tip."

"""Ladies and gents."" That concludes our tour of the toilets."

"I've always liked prostitutes... Personally, I feel like they give me the most bang for the buck."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, he didn't get across, but he made it to the other side."

"How many /r/news mods does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, but it only takes one to get it [removed]"

"Circumcision How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"Traffic in every Florida city is crazy! Drivers are maniacs! Saturday afternoon there was a taxi driver who had to pull out to avoid a kid. .... .... ... He fell off the sofa."