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Joke of the Day

"My dad died of the big C... He drowned."

"99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs. Take one down, patch it around... 127 little bugs in the code."

"My signature move is falling in love with a beautiful girl, then giving her really good advice on how to date someone else."

"Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris."

"[NSFW] Dad, I am a lesbian 1st Daughter:""Dad, I am a lesbian"" Dad; ""Oh okay!"" 2nd Daughter: ""I'm a lesbian too..."" Dad: ""Jesus Christ, does any one in this family love dicks?"" Son: ""I do."""

"If I was a farmer the first thing I'd do is have a meeting with the roosters & cows & tell them to wake up around 9:30 instead of 5."

"I asked a Jewish girl for her number.. ..do she rolled up her sleeve."

"The key to being smart is not talking about shit you don't know about. You should try it. Like immediately."

"Why don't blacks take cruises? They ain't falling for that shit again."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with large breasts? One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean!"