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Joke of the Day
"My dad died of the big C... He drowned."
Next Joke
"Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said ""Hell I'm no actor and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"""
"Have girl problem? Feel bad for you son. I live in Russia. Have 99 problems. Bear ate car. Wife ate bear. Son ate wife. I eat son now?"
"Cookies Two cookies are in an oven. The first cookie says ""is it hot in here or is it just me?"" The second cookie says ""holy shit! A talking cookie"""
"*walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN ""I'm sorry sir, we don't--"" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR."
"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years. Its not like I have 2020 vision. Sad part is this joke is only good for another hour."
"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and a catfish? One's a scum sucking bottom feeder. The other's a catfish."
"Mom: Time to wake updog. Son: *groggily* What's updog? Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u? Dad (from hallway): OWNED"
"Someone in the office keeps making decaf coffee & I've narrowed it down to that guy who never gets anything done."
"I've never met a full on jew They were all just sort of jew-ish"