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Joke of the Day

"The key to being smart is not talking about shit you don't know about. You should try it. Like immediately."

"Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying? A: Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this one."

"Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in the oven."

"[Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is... Grease. Me: Grease is the word? Judge: Yes. Grease is the word that you heard."

"Went to our annual work party last night... They played 'The Twist' so I twisted. They played 'Jump' so I jumped. Then they played 'Come on Eileen'...I was asked to leave shortly after that."

"Y'all have heard about the WTC7 fallling down right? What did it fall from? Peer Pressure?"

"The grass isn't always greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it."

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance......... The 5 stages of wearing a condom."

"what phase is it called when a man with a fedora and trenchcoat realise they look stupid M'aturity"

"Currently helping my wife looking for her favourite vase that I threw out six months ago."