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Joke of the Day

"My life The biggest joke of all."

"What's a Scottish transsexual's favourite drink? Mango Lassi"

"Had to have ""the sex talk"" with my daughter, she was a little overwhelmed so I left out the part about golden showers & donkey punches"

"What fish only swims at night ? A starfish !"

"How much coke did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."

"What do you call a terrible pun? A puntastropie."

"The area of a pie So I asked my maths teacher how to find the area of the pie I had made that day. He said, easy, you use the are formula A=r2. I said, no this is a circular pie."

"I named my dick ""the fear of god"" now when my parents ask what im doing with my girlfriend i tell them im putting the fear of god in her"

"Q. How did the blonde die ice-fishing? A. She was run over by the zambonis machine."

"What's the difference between a vegan, a crossfit instructor, and a psychological test subject? The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to ""tell us about yourself."""