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Joke of the Day

"(Breaks car window to save a dog) Guy: I'm in the car! Me: Yeah but it's hot Him: The AC is on! Me: Can I get in? It's really hot out here."

"Why'd the Titanic stop putting out on the first date? The iceberg had said 'just the tip'"

"""Just because you Can't dance, doesn't mean you Shouldn't dance."" Alcohol."

"What would you call a Chinese based arm of Isis? Ricesis"

"Punny Chemistry ""What's Jerry Sandusky's favorite compound?"" ""What?"" ""A mole ester"""

"I wish there were more dry sex acts like dry-humping. I think I'd really enjoy dry 69."

"Your wife and your lawyer are drowning. You have a choice to make: Lunch or the movies?"

"President Obama announces his intention to serve on the U.S. Supreme Court ""I can't wait until I'm in a position to have a real impact on the country!"" said an excited Obama."

"A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the ""mid air"" beach picture :("

"A guard is patrolling when he sees something moving in the bushes.... ""Who's in there?!"" He yells He gets a reply ""jean-claude van damme"" All 4 of you,get out!"