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Joke of the Day

"A strong person stands up for himself. A stronger person stands up for himself while bench pressing another person standing up for himself."

"If only Darwinian theory worked on request."

"If someone says ""With all due respect,"" what follows is the verbal equivalent of a captive chimp hurling feces at you."

"Will you marry me? 'Is a marriage proposal' Will, you, Mary, me? 'A foursome inquiry'"

"What did the slab of meat say when it was covered in salt and left out to dry? ""I'm cured!"""

"I have this joke about Ebola... But you probably wouldn't get it."

"Doctors seem to have cornered the market on so-called ""medical advice."""

"""I'm sorry"" and ""my bad"" mean the same thing unless you're at a funeral."

"What does a gay horse eat? Haaaaay!"

"If 2 wrongs don't make a right, what do 2 rights make? An airplane."