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Joke of the Day

"100$ Bill 1st: Why are you late? 2nd: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 1st: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? 2nd: No, I was standing on it."

"Why did the hipster fail chemistry? He thought the bond was ironic."

"20 yrs from now they'll make a movie on how Leonardo DeCaprio never won an Oscar. Plot twist the actor playing him wins an Oscar."

"Large scale pot-growing bust on my neighbors property I was charged with planting evidence..."

"I just got fired for sexual harassment. I'm self employed."

"Dear Slut, Sorry, but your vagina does not have a Clear History Button like fire fox."

"My mom laughed at me when I told her I was making a car out of spaghetti... you should have seen her face when I drove pasta!"

"Q: What does a PASCAL programmer say to a C programmer? A: ""Would you like fries with that?"""

"Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you I'll stop."

"Of course most gay men dress well... they spent more than enough time in the closet!"