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Joke of the Day

"""when people say different color bell peppers taste different"" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically"

"Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman."

"What literary devices do butchers use? Meataphors."

"What does Green Day say before bed? Green night"

"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for long enough it develops its own culture"

"Why did the little Dutch boy get kicked out of the gay bar? He kept putting his finger in the dikes."

"My gf said ""tie me up and do what you want"" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar"

"[circus school] ""So to tame the lion, you have this whip..."" What if the lion's too close? [picking up tiny stool] ""we've thought of that"""

"I was with my friends when.. One of them asked the other if he was a virgin. He replied ""No, I came out mom's vagina."" I honestly don't know how to feel about this."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beethoven ! Beethoven who ? Beethoven is too hot !"