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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a white guy who's beating someone in the street? Officer."

"JUDITH! FETCH MY EVIL PLAN GLASSES! *2 hours later has organised a small festival* Dammit Judith, these are my party planning glasses!"

"I'd really like to applaud my doctor. The symptoms of my gonorrhea are finally starting to go away. ::slow clap::"

"What's big, white and goes down on you in the middle of the night? An Airbus A320."

"Why do women have orgasms? Just another reason to moan really."

"2015: This is our son, Aiden. 2016: This is our son, Lemonaiden."

"For those who believe that size doesn't matter....would you be satisfied if your woman brought you a small sandwich?"

"Every episode of my life starts with a short recap and the voice over says ""Previously on wasted potential..."""

"What did the mother turkey say to her naughty son Tom? If your dad knew how you were acting he'd roll over in his gravy?"

"So what going on with dead baby jokes? I think there dying off."