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Joke of the Day

"I'd really like to applaud my doctor. The symptoms of my gonorrhea are finally starting to go away. ::slow clap::"

"I was very upset at the funeral the other day. I started wailing and moaning and banging on the coffin In the end they opened it and let me out."

"Q: What do you call a monster snake that works for the government? A: A civil serpent."

"My iPhone auto-corrected ""wish you were here"" to ""wish you were beer"" and I sent it anyways."

"Tip Of the Day: You can easily avoid bruising your thigh by not staring at a female jogger and then walking into a fire hydrant."

"I just found out that the reptile I had sex with last night had an STD Now I have a dino-sore"

"How does Dracula keep fit? He plays batminton."

"Don't be that crazy person who collects cats. Collect something else instead like toenails."

"Don't you just hate it when you can't go to someone's funeral Because that person is still alive?"

"Who finds america? Funny Joke Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did."