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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say after he was put in a pot of boiling water? I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard."

"What they're actually saying is ""I can't even [finish this sentence due to the complexities of being a white girl on the existential level]"""

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because it's pecker is on its head."

"My fave pickup line as a gay man... Hey, are you a vital organ? Because I don't think I can live without you inside of me."

"Avocado or Donald Trump? Avocado or Donald Trump for president? Well, one is a wrinkly old bag filled with green mush The other one is an avocado."

"Lisa Sparx What a Record!!! World gangbang record with 919 men in a day."

"How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight? Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

"There's a support group for burned-out hacker/activists who want to give up the habit. It's called Anonymous Anonymous."

"If the human race has a ""signature move,"" its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing."

"Try this at the bars, guaranteed 18% success rate: You: Do you have a permit to carry that? Her: Carry what? You: DAT ASS! Then issue a citation with your phone # on it."