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Joke of the Day

"70% of all university students identify themselves as procrastinators. .. The other 30% haven't gotten round to it yet."

"Why did they hire the police department to design a new superconductor? ""STOP RESISTING!!!"""

"How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb? nun"

"Two parallel lines match on tinder But they never meet!"

"How did the constipated mathematician solve the problem? He worked out with a pencil."

"Oh science, oh science, oh science!!"" ~An atheist having sex."

"I was fired from my job as a mortician after I was caught having sex on the job I guess it was the final nail in the coffin."

"Picking up a tiny piece of paper off the carpet would probably only take me one second... But for some reason I'd rather vacuum over it 100 times, at different angles..."

"""That'll be $147,382."" - The cab driver after taking Will Smith from Philadelphia to Bel Air."

"Henry Miller said, ""The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature."" That explains ""Kim is a kunt"" on this restroom wall."