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Joke of the Day

"Insult Joke P1: Why did the chicken cross the road? P2: Why? P1: To get to the little bitch's house. P1: Knock knock P1: Who's there? P2: The chicken"

"100$ Bill 1st: Why are you late? 2nd: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. 1st: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? 2nd: No, I was standing on it."

"""YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER YOU HAVE A CUT ON YOUR FINGER"" - salt"

"[""Platonic"" male friend rams car through my bedroom wall] I heard you broke up with your girl. You ok? Ready to give men a try now?????????"

"ME: Mexican food does NOT agree with me BURRITO: Correct. Your thoughts on middle eastern power structures are banal and imperialist at best"

"I love kale... Just as long as the K is silent."

"I accidentally planted some marijuana seeds on my farm It's all gone to pot"

"I wonder what Kirstie Alley is putting frosting on right now."

"You don't love me? Don't worry, the first step is denial."

"What was Alex Rodriguez's last hit? Who gives a shit, he's finally done ruining the sport."