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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a blonde dial 911 ? She can't find the eleven."

"I was gonna tell a football joke to Payton Manning....... But it went over his head"

"What do you call a laptop that ejaculates metal? Computer"

"I was pretty shocked when my dad came out of the closet. Now I can only wonder if my other dad knows."

"Does anyone want a free microwave? Contact me. We can talk about how we both want a free microwave"

"Mad Libs inventor died today of POOPING. He is survived by his PIZZA CHEESE and his LAWN DARTS. He will be A DINOSAUR."

"Which came first? Chicken or the Egg? Neither. I CAME first!"

"What time is it? **BOOM!**"

"What do you call an environmentally-conscious Mexican? A Green Bean"

"Being a gynaecologist is like being a pizza delivery guy. You can smell it but you can't taste it. I'm sure that's what paediatricians say as well"