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Joke of the Day

"Before takeoff our flight attendant asked everyone to turn off their Samsung Galaxy phones You know, the ones with the headphone jack"

"Will we just know how to play the harp in heaven, or do we need to arrange lessons beforehand?"

"I was walking down the street earlier and saw two kids fighting As an adult I had to step in. They didn't stand a chance."

"WARNING: DO NOT TRY AND EAT WARREN BUFFET. HE IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUFFET AND IS NOT MADE OF FOOD"

"Not knowing what to text back, but not wanting the conversation to end."

"""Feeling sad? We can help make it worse"" - online dating"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? ""Juan"""

"According to the latest statistics, most accidents with toasters and bathtubs happen at home."

"What's the difference between a slab of meat and someone who hates high school students? One's protein, the other's anti-teen."

"Her: *puts cherry stem in mouth *pulls it out with a knot *winks Him: *puts earbuds in pocket *pulls it out with 5 knots *doesn't get laid"