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Joke of the Day

"Her: *puts cherry stem in mouth *pulls it out with a knot *winks Him: *puts earbuds in pocket *pulls it out with 5 knots *doesn't get laid"

"""Today's special is a grilled Chilean sea bass with white wine reduction. We recommend Instagramming it with the 1977 or Apollo filters..."""

"A man with Alzheimer's walks into a bar."

"You're not considered antisocial if no one wants to talk to you."

"My Dad's cat had a hernia operation The cat was laying there next to next to me and I asked "" What did they sew you up with?"" My Dad laughing so hard - as he said ""That's not funny!"" [Cat Gut]"

"What do you call a female peacock? A peacunt."

"I like my coffee like I like my girls Without a penis."

"I like my women like I like my wine... Twelve years old and in the cellar."

"What did the racist chess player say? All Rook same!"

"Do you know what else are nazis? The other 25 letter of the alphabet."