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Joke of the Day
"What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died? Barium"
Next Joke
"You know those disgusting people who lick their fingers instead of using a napkin in public? Hi."
"They say 1 in every 4 men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends. I wonder which one of them 7 is, I really need a cock in my ass."
"If someone doesn't text u back it's certainly bc whatever u texted them was so stupid that it destroyed whatever relationship u may have had"
"Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow."
"What's Donald Trump's favorite kind of bubble gum? Bigly chew."
"I used to be terrible at Valentines' Day too... But then I took an arrow in the knee."
"If you text your boss that you can't come in and include the poop emoji, he doesn't ask any questions."
"If Bob Marley were alive today, what would he listen to music on? An iAndiPod. Just made that one up. I can hear the groans."
"You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands."