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Joke of the Day

"What lives in the ocean is grouchy and hates neighbours ? A hermit crab !"

"I inherited one of the paintings done by Adolf Hitler today. I don't want to hang it in my house though. I'm afraid it's bad Jew Jew."

"Got a secondhand robot. Practically good as new! Just a few nicks and scratches, and a tendency to murder."

"I Just Won the Polish Lottery I get $1 a year for a million years."

"I'm not allowed in the Vietnamese sandwich shop anymore. They decided to banh mi for life."

"PSA: If your kid bumps into me one more time with your shopping cart I will unhinge my jaw and swallow him whole."

"Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the leper colony ? Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out."

"I don't need a girlfriend, I can just play Pokemon Go The servers go down on me every day"

"Anyone want a free car? Angry bee inside but otherwise, perfect."

"HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE: It takes 24,637 BOLTS to put a car together, but only one NUT to spread it all over the road. Don't Drink & Drive!"