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Joke of the Day

"I'm not allowed in the Vietnamese sandwich shop anymore. They decided to banh mi for life."

"What do a sperm and a lawyer have in common? A 1 in 3,000,000 chance of becoming a human being."

"The fencer thought he knew what was about to happen but... ...his opponent feinted."

"Too many kids crying. I'm never having kids.I'm just gonna adopt an adult who has a job already."

"I have now been sober for eighteen months. Not in a row..."

"Nicholas Cage was only good in FaceOff because he was played by John Travolta."

"Someone asked me, ""What's the difference the testes and the penis?"" I said, ""Well, there's a vas deferens between them."""

"Yo girl, are you my appendix? Because I don't really understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out."

"Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget? You're sure to get a little head"

"Why did the scarecrow receive a Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field."