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Joke of the Day

"I moved to LA 9 months ago and I've just been circling around this whole time looking for a parking spot."

"Hillary and Huma Hillary Clinton likes Huma Abedin who is married to Anthony Weiner which would make her Huma Weiner. That means that Hillary likes a Weiner which means that she is not gay."

"Swimming Is Good For You... Especially if you are drowning."

"On a bad dinner date? Bump the table with your knee to make the water in your glass ripple. Claim a T-Rex is coming. Sprint out the door."

"I went to a self defence class last night and the instructor told me to ""take him by surprise and attack him"". So when I saw him in Walmart the next day I threw a can of beans at his head."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? He woke up due to the noise he made snoring."

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out"

"I'm gonna vote for Trump at elections... Cuz I a'int ever seen a president assassinated"

"How do Germans tie there shoes? With little Nazis."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef."