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Joke of the Day

"RIP boiling water You will be mist."

"I support international women day! Because American women are so much less fun."

"America is that sexy classmate everyone had a crush on in high school, not aging that well but you'd still hit it."

"Okay, but it's offensive ""Have you ever had Ethiopian food?"" ""No..."" ""Neither have they!"""

"You know you're a Star Trek fan when you... hate Voyager and you've only seen every episode one time."

"Dog & Mosquito were in Love .. mosquito kissed the dog .. Dog became emotional...gave Love bite to mosquito . Mosquito died of Rabies & Dog died of Dengue . MORAL:- LOVE is DANGEROUS"

"Hey people who say 'I want my funeral to be like this': what are you going to do about it if they don't do it like that?"

"I prefer to buy rental properties that take up an entire city block or more. I'm in it for the long hall."

"Nobody's abs are good enough to convince anyone to move to Iowa."

"I know who's Batman's real son It's Lil Wayne!"