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Joke of the Day

"Could Jesus make a nerd so nerdy that even he couldn't resist giving him a wedgie?"

"Saw a guy missing his left arm and leg, and asked how he was doing. ""Eh, I'm alright."""

"Half the time I hug anyone I'm just wiping my hands off on their back."

"Ran out of Manila envelops. Off to the Philippines."

"What do you call an all Sikh band? N'Singh."

"Alphaterrorism Part of the alphabet has been destroyed in a terrorist attack. It's not yet known which letter had anything to do with the atrocity, but early reports suggest G had."

"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"""Last call for flight 254"" [Runs to gate] ""You barely made it"" [out of breath] This isnt my flight. I just wanted to tell you I'm a vegan"

"[date] Me: *ok don't let her know I'm a bull* Her: ""so what are some red flags for you?"" Me: *sweating* ""haha red flags? Where?"""

"all ramen noodles come from one impossibly long noodle of disputed origins. no one knows how much is left or what will happen when it's gone"