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Joke of the Day

"Went off roading with my prius but ended up getting stuck on a bonsai tree in neighbor's front yard"

"""You know what, that's some ?.."" ""Calm down you're being irrational right now."""

"What is a water bottle's favorite game to play? Follow the litre."

"Me: If you take them out of their natural habitat they seek revenge by burning your tounge Sis: M: S: That's a pizza roll. You're high"

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in an accident? He'll be all right."

"Q: What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow? A: Spoiled Milk."

"I'm getting an MRI tomorrow... to find out whether or not I'm claustrophobic."

"What is the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"Why is the dyslexic afraid of Christmas? Because that's when Satan comes."

"Im voting Hillary Clinton this year. Because she dosnt suck"