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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a cow that's recently given birth? Decaffinated"

"So my neighbor knocked on my door at 3AM... Who knocks on doors at three in the morning? It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes."

"Biologist screws up: Mutant killer virus Physicist screws up: Deadly black hole Geologist screws up: Rock on table is now rock on floor"

"Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day. How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool."

"A girl tells a guy that she can't get pregnant... ...turns out that he wasn't lying."

"BF went to text me ""almost there"" It came out ""almost dead"" So hungover, I wrote back ""thank god"" And now he arrived and things are awkward"

"What's brown and sticky? A Stick"

"I love plants. They are the only living things that do not run away from me."

"You really have to hand it to the members of the African American community."

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, except that the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they're supposed to be."