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Joke of the Day

"what do you call a cow that's recently given birth? Decaffinated"

"A John gets crabs from a 10$ hooker... he goes back to complain, and the hooker tells him ""what did you expect for 10$, lobster?"""

"The only difference between Black Friday and a zombie apocalypse is that zombies don't care if you get the last iPad Mini."

"On Thanksgiving, how does Miley Cyrus stuff her bird? You don't want to know."

"Sign language is a pretty handy skill"

"I saw a girl texting and driving earlier today and it really pissed me off... So I rolled my window down and threw my beer at her."

"hey teens ! if you think you're angry now, just wait until you have to spend your own money on toilet paper."

"Q: What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow? A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night?!"

"What's the shortest organ in a goat? An ISIS member's dick."

"What kind of person do people hate moving in next to them that starts with an 'N' and ends with an 'r'? [NSFW] A 'neighbor,' you racist fuck!"