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Joke of the Day

"I like Gila monsters because they're willing to admit they're monsters, unlike giraffes"

Next Joke
 
"*Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum"
"what do you call the offspring of two lesbians? A hermaphrodike"
"So a waitress pours coffee on a mans hat He says, ""I'll send you the bill."""
"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that Subway is healthy."
"Why does Pinocchio lie? because he's a fucking liar"
"The more we ban gluten, the black market demand for it skyrockets and the Mexican gluten cartels make a killing."
"Did you hear Rick Ross's new song about the Ebola crisis? It's called 100 Blacks Coughin'"
"You ever notice how many narcissistic pirates there are? Everyone I meet won't stop saying Aye!"
"What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? There's only one Bender in Futurama"