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Joke of the Day

"Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky. Surely, you can't be Sirius."

"Another International Ninja Day went completely unnoticed."

"You wanna know how to intrigue someone? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Did you hear about that new restaurant on the Moon? The food isn't bad, but it has no atmosphere."

"What's 12 inches long and makes your wife scream all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome."

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the crap out of the room for being black."

"Parents tell you their baby's weight because they have no other information. They can't say ""Meet Jim, a free spirit who's into yodeling."""

"Just updated my resume. Hobbies section now includes: ""Currently tied with Lance Armstrong in Tour de France victories."""

"Lately every post on /r/Jokes has become a pun in the English language :( It's not pun anymore."

"The older I get, the more I watch Ferris Bueller and root for him to get caught."