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Joke of the Day

"Another International Ninja Day went completely unnoticed."

"If there isn't an open bar at my funeral then count me out, I'm not going!"

"Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict."

"The meaning of the word ""Poor"" Poor (noun) = When you have too much month at the end of your money"

"A woman, two Hispanics, a black guy, and a white guy all walk into a bar... They then run for the Republican nomination for President"

"What do you get if you cross a SJW and Jason Voorhees? Social justice."

"What's the difference between jeweler, a cut down tree, and a sea captain? A sea captain watches the seas, while a jeweler sees the watches."

"What's the difference between a snitch whose been caught and a free-spirited orphan with an Oedipus complex? One's a dead-ass motherfucker. The other's a dead mother ass-fucker."

"""Will you please stop chasing heavy women?"" ""I am not chasing them...they just happen to land on me and I cant get up."""

"It makes me sad when people tell me they married their best friend, mostly because marriage between a woman and Vodka will never be legal."