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Joke of the Day

"Can you believe Five Guys is a hamburger place and not an orgy store?! I'm too under dressed and overlubed to eat a hamburger now."

"If humans have politics, then what do bees have? POLLENtics"

"Why do North Americans hate playing chess? Cause they lack the towers."

"I'm glad I'm not invited to Joan Rivers' funeral. She might be cremated and I hate the smell of burning plastic. Too soon?"

"I don't have a friend called Louise. If I did I would always be saying ""Jeez Louise"" to her. Then I wouldn't have a friend called Louise."

"What if global warming *is* a hoax and we clean up our air and oceans, create millions of jobs, and become energy independent for nothing?"

"I hate people who say ""Age is just a number"" Age is clearly a word."

"Researchers have developed a new painkiller with no negative side effects ... and no positive either."

"I used to work in children's wear, but I grew out of it."

"What's a ducks favorite drug? Quack cocaine"