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Joke of the Day

"I thought I just had a bad headache but according to WebMD I'm a conjoined twin slowly dying from jaundice."

"RICK AND MORTY SEASON 3 RELEASED! Just not in this dimension.."

"What did Jay-Z call his wife-to-be? Feyonce."

"So I heard Labour put forth a motion to build a new telescope... I guess they want to Observe-a-tory!"

"*bumps into an acquaintance in a world where there's no such thing as weather* Uhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Butt-sex is a lot like spinach... If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult. -Daniel Tosh"

"If you were a Canadian and I were a Canadian and we bumped into each other, who would apologize first? I'm not a Canadian so get out of my fucking way! I'm Walking Here!"

"I'm going to start a 70's tribute band with some guys from the office. .. It's gonna be called watercooler and the gang."

"My iPhone just autocorrected the word nigga to NIGGA, like whoa iPhone. You can't just go around yelling the N word. Jesus."

"MY HOT WIFE: want to go down on me? [three minutes later] *riding my wife down the water slide* YEAHHHH"