134524

Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a hiptser is a good secret agent? You've never heard of him."

"In truth, spiders are harmless* *Save for a few species whose venom reprograms your immune system to tell your body to eat its own organs."

"Man in a BMW pulls up next to a kid in the street... and says, ""Excuse me, lad. If I give you 5 bucks will you come in my car?"" Kid says, ""Give me 10 and I'll come in your mouth!"""

"When my wife starts to sing I have to go out in the yard and work in the garden so the neighbors don't think domestic violence is happening."

"What do space aliens put on their windows? Venutian blinds."

"Darling, what does pedophile mean? I'll tell you when you're older."

"I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Moderate Islam. ....... That's strange. I could've sworn I heard a knock at the door."

"A man was arrested for having sex inside a West Virginian Olive Garden with an employee. Apparently he took ""When you're here, you're family"" too literally."

"The most feared killer whales are the ones that have done time in Seaworld."