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Joke of the Day

"So the US is to send 3000 troops to help combat ebola. Does anyone else get the feeling they don't know what ebola is?"

"What's the difference between a decrepit rickety bus and the Egyptian god of death? One is an old bus and the other is Anubis."

"Texas. Where the vegan menu item is chicken."

"What do you call a Messiah that enjoys pain? A masochrist."

"How many performance artists does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know either, I walked out early too."

"In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s"

"""Socks... they're like... soft little canoes for your feet."" - Don Draper, having a stroke"

"A boy asks the teacher, ""what's infinity?"" Teacher: ""think of a number."" Boy: ""ok, I've got one."" Teacher: ""good, that's not it!"""

"Someone asked me if I could tell them what you would call people from the French island of Corsica. I said, Cors'I'can."

"I tried to go to the brothel today but there was a sign on the door It said ""Beat it, we're closed."""