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Joke of the Day

"Anyone who feels bad about dumping a huge national debt on the next generation hasn't spent a lot of time around teenagers."

"What does a girl want more than anything? Nothing. She is fine."

"Did you hear the one about the perverted statistician? He couldn't get off on the standard deviation"

"[planning heist] LEADER: we can kill the alarm, but how do we get through the concrete wall? *everyone turns to look at the kool-aid man*"

"What kinda overalls does Mario wear? Denim denim denim"

"I went to an NBA game and there was a female referee She only made 75% of the calls that the male referees made."

"Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street ""I've never come this way before!"" And the other replies ""yes! It's the cobblestones!"""

"I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don't like her new haircut."

"My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don't want myself to know about."

"i spilled something on my sleeve but instead of trying to get the stain out i just rolled my sleeve up higher i can't wait to be an adult"