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Joke of the Day

"[Alien monster is levelling Toronto] CANADAMAN: Excuse me, sir, SIR, could you stop please? SIR?"

"I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh."

"Why do melons always have big weddings? Because they can't elope."

"Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and Twitter? Twitter only allows 160 characters"

"I'm terrified of elevators I take steps to avoid them"

"What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese? None, but you can get food poisoning."

"Two Ducks Two ducks in the airing cupboard, which one is in the army? The one on the tank......."

"I am sorry about this. I'm not proud of it. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts."

"If I had Pokemon, I'd pretend to understand them. They'd go ""Bulba bulbaaasaur"" and I'd be like ""What do u mean Hitler did nothing wrong?"""

"Why is an Alabama divorce like a tornado? One way or the other someone is losing a trailer."