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Joke of the Day

"My wife just said to me that i'm a Pedophile and it is wrong -Pedophile? That's an awfully big word for a 12 year old."

"A witticism of timely and international-political import. Knock Knock. Who's there? Crimea Crimea Who? Crimea River instantrimshot.com"

"What will happen if somebody were to kill all Scotsmen? They will get off scot-free."

"Will no one rid me of this turbulent poodle?"

"A girl came up to me the other day... and told me she saw me at the vegan club but I never saw herbivore."

"Life is short, which means it can't get on any of the cool rides."

"[Date] Her: *giggles* whoops you got a hair right there Me (nervous she's trying to clone me): give it back"

"Why do women fake orgasms? They think men care. I'll see myself out."

"My penis is so polite..... .....it stands up to give ladies a place to sit down."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Tripping... J.K. Rowling"