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Joke of the Day
"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Tripping... J.K. Rowling"
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"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but getting them in there is a bitch!"
"What do you call a t-shirt with stalks of wheat on it? A crop top!"
"How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub? 100\. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is."
"What's a bear's favorite kind of treasure? Bearied."
"Life is like pizza. It makes you fat."
" Why doesn't Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year."
"James Bond is the type of top secret spy who announces who he is, then shoots everyone and sets off a bomb while doing absolutely no spying."
"According to my doctor, it'd be healthiest to stay away from trans fats. I'm really going to miss tumblr."
"I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive"