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Joke of the Day

"Life is short, which means it can't get on any of the cool rides."

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"What do you call a mini-golf club made of wasp testicles that's covered in Reese's Pieces? A peanut butter bee-nut putter."
"I once dated a girl with a conch shell tattooed on her inner thigh... If you put your ear up to it you could smell the ocean"
"What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences."
"I just changed the clock in my car to show the actual time here comes the good life"
"What do you call a bear with no teeth?"
"I just ran into my barber on the street. He asked me how I liked the haircut he gave me last week. I told him it's growing on me."
"What did the Frenchman say after 80? Blaze it."
"Dumb one-liner of the day: I imagine veterinarians who treat ducks put up with a lot of undeserved grief."
"What's the difference between an Onion and a Whore? I don't cry when I chop up a Whore."