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Joke of the Day

"To my fellow graduates; don't you forget about me Just something to instil into your simple minds. I am *not* proud of this."

"For Mother's Day, I told my teens, I'm going to reenact every detail of each of your births."

"The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work."

"Hey guys, I have to lettuce you know that I spend half of my celery on vegetables. You carrot stop eating them but that's just my onion."

"A genie appears to a blonde woman and offers her one wish. The blonde says ""You know, I've slept with more men than I can count. I wish I knew exactly how many it was."" The Genie replies ""Four."""

"I just ran 4.1 Kms and realized you can write anything you want after that and no one will read it purple monkey dishwasher."

"How Do You Make A Blind Man Angry? Give him a basketball and ask him what it says."

"Think of a number. Realize that number will never think of you too. Lay on your bathroom floor and sob."

"In India, you don't drive on the left of the road.. you drive on what is left on the road."

"My Russian mate does not care about anyone. His name is Yukanol Fukov."