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Joke of the Day

"An unhinged neurosurgeon, a tech CEO, and a Southern Baptist preacher walk into a bar... they all ask for your vote"

"What's the best part about having a hooker die on you? The second hour is free."

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 for spanish. Press 1 and 2 at the same time for the latest Pitbull song"

"Two antennas met on a rooftop... ...they fell in love and got married. I heard the ceremony was pretty average... but the reception was excellent!"

"Me: Shout out to all my homies! Homies: Stop shouting at us."

"What does your sex life have in common with a highway bridge? If you have weight limits you aren't going to see as much traffic."

"How could 911 have been an outside job If the planes came from the inside?"

"A man waiting for a heart transplant... ... says ""I only want the heart of a dead lawyer."" ""Why?"" asks the doctor. ""I want one that's never been used."""

"I love eating German sausage.... but it always gives me the wurst farts. HA HA HAHA Ha....ha....^ha ^ha^ha......^i'llshowmyselfout"

"""As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?"" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China"